On Loved Ones and their Love Languages
One of the most life changing books in my life, besides the Bible, has been “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. The book teaches about the different types of love languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
You can find your primary love language by taking this quiz. I would love to hear about your results so please let me know in the comments section! Knowing the primary love language of the people you are doing life with will exponentially improve your relationships.
My primary love language changes, and quite a bit! I’d say I’m multi-lingual haha! In all honesty, I think it’s an even combination of Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch. But anyone who knows me will tell you that I love giving and receiving gifts. There’s something so special about picking out a gift for someone based on their likes. Oh I cannot wait until that Oprah budget comes through! Everyone will get their “car”! I mus confess that I love receiving gifts, it doesn’t have to be something big, it just has to be meaningful. Take a Gluten Free Cookie, for example, show up with one and it will make us instant besties! Oh and if you buy me a non-vanilla, non-chocolate cupcake… FRIENDS FOR LIFE!
Identifying your loved one’s primary love language will help you love them better. I can tell you from experience just how frustrating it is to love someone when you don’t understand their primary love language. As I mentioned, one of my primary love languages is giving gifts and I pride myself in my gift giving abilities. Imagine my frustration, when after weeks of planning and saving, I gift my mother a fab gift only to get a meek “thanks”. This happened for every birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas for years! Every year I tried to outdo myself, I increased my budget, I dug deeper into her likes, I sought high and low for a special gift, and the response was always the same. I could not understand it, this woman is all things nice and lovely and yet she was never truly content with my gifts. It was because Receiving Gifts IS NOT HER LOVE LANGUAGE. It was that simple! Her love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service, and everything changed once I discovered that. This Mother’s Day I got her and I tickets for a conference and she was happier than I have ever seen her before. Quality Time! That’s what she likes. So can I just encourage you to discover what your primary love language is and to discover the primary love language of those around you. It will dramatically change your relationships and it will help you show your love more effectively.